Originally published at www.xanga.com/redroadhome on 8/13/06.
Some things change, but some things never do.
Once upon a time, the forming five would fill evenings with fun. Gathering at the Cline residence, John, Josh, Michael, Dereck and I would battle it out in Risk while chowing on some chips and guzzling coffee. Battles would be won and lost, life at
The five reformed this evening, an older group. The setting was the Cline's, but the activities forced us to move outside - we sometime traded Risk for conversation, chips for cigars, and coffee for Sam Adams. The high school conversations were so far gone that they weren't even missed. Instead, we heard about Josh's married life, John's time in
A changed group, but my helplessness remained. Don't get me wrong - I love the guys and enjoy every minute of life we get to share together. There's simply a communication block, an inability to express the joy I've felt and the lessons I've learned throughout the summer, a helplessness in trying to weave my own excitement and morals in the conversation. So I sit back in quiet amazement at the blessings of others� sharing, the stories that bring laughs to the mouth, memories to the mind, and praise to the hearts of the five intimately connected manly men, sitting around a deck table on a peaceful, sixty degree summer night smoking cigars and downing some Summer Ale. As John gets more and more confused and upset at my silence. (For the record, only four are actually manly men - I'm not quite macho enough to participate in the smoking or drinking. But doing that stuff second-hand is supposed to be more intense anyway, right?)
We've certainly progressed in age, but I can't help but think that, in the larger scheme of things, we really haven't gotten very far. Sure, different jobs, different schools, different girls, but... We'd like to pretend this was a meeting of Christian legends, a group of guys who grew up together and all significantly affected the spiritual landscape of the nation. We recognized the blessings of a great church background, God's gifts in us and His Spirit working through us. And we tried not to forget to be faithful in even the smallest things to which we were called so that He would entrust greater things to our care. The line between childish dreams and Godly hope is too often skewed.
I returned home pondering the situation and doubting much substance would ever come to the five reforming as those who could truly say that they all impacted the nation, made a true difference for the Kingdom. Praise God that people know me well enough to be "trained not to believe [my] pessimism." The problem isn't necessarily our faithfulness - it's my dream. Returning home to an email from a close friend who's grown so inexpressibly much over the past year was the best reminder possible that God cares for and works through individuals. What a shepherd, to seek after the one who is lost, to lead each one through green pastures and beside quiet waters. And I sit in amazement and joy at being able to witness the work: to see God transforming Mike and Deanna and Josh and Kim and Dereck and John, to be invited to participate in each of their lives and be encouraged by what God's calling them to, to be used, even in the smallest ways, to spur these individuals on towards a life of glorious sacrifice for the One who's worthy.
In this fallen world, so much changes, some for better, some for worse, but even in our skewed dreams and frustrating weaknesses, God's love remains constant: constantly sacrificially individually intimately delightful.
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